Tag Archives: the boy


I figure I should perhaps do a little explaining about the name I gave to this blog. I went through a whole lot of alternatives which were already taken, before settling for Vita Mellita. Now, I say ‘settling’, but really I’m quite happy with it. I know a lot of my friends would find it quite ironic though, partly because I am notoriously not a fan of the Romans, so choosing a Latin phrase really makes sense, and also I’m not referred to as Winnie the Pooh for nothing. For my own part I do also realise that there is some irony as well in the idea of a ‘honeyed life’, particularly related to my own life – I gladly admit that I go through my fair share of mood swings, if not more so than most do, and life often seems sour to me when it doesn’t have much reason to. But I’m working on it 🙂


The phrase itself is taken from a graffito on a wall in Pompeii:

Amantes ut apes vita mellita exigunt. {Lovers, like bees, live a honeyed life.}

Jake put it in the first letter he ever sent me, when we were only friends. And I somehow convinced myself that there was nothing to it (especially because at the time, the opposite would have complicated matters hugely – more on this at another time). I live in the hope that next time I’ll recognise the delusional tendencies earlier.


…If It Ain’t Got That Swing

When I was younger I had a terrible time meeting people, because I always dreaded having to answer the question ‘So, what music do you like?’ I was terrified of having my musical taste judged and people forming an opinion of me because I mentioned a certain band or artist. I remember having to try to second-guess what sort of music THAT person was into and attempting to mention things that they might like too or that might impress them. I desperately wanted to appear cool or niche in my music taste, perhaps partly because I was definitely lacking in this in other areas. I remember someone asking me which my favourite song was of a band I claimed to like that I hadn’t really listened to, and being stumped for a reply.

‘Well, um… I don’t think I could say really, they’re just all so GOOD.’ *speedy subject change*

At some point, though, I’m not sure exactly when, I got over this. I’m not afraid to let people know quite how wide-ranging the music I like is: when the ‘what music do you listen to?’ question comes up, it’s always very difficult to answer now. I tend to resort to listing genres and turning the question on the other person. ‘Oh, loads of different things… Rock, folk, metal… Name some stuff  YOU listen to and I’ll tell you if I like it.’

When I first got talking to my now Significant Other (I guess he needs a name… He did ask to be referred to as ‘Pygmy Marmoset’, but I think I’ll go with Jake instead :P), it was our shared love of pretty obscure music that brought us together and kept us talking well into the early hours. And that’s still the case – music is part of the glue that holds us together, and one of the funnest things that we do together, be it discovering new artists to suggest to each other or going to gigs. Music always has such a deep impact on me, and I genuinely couldn’t imagine my life without it. I know I’m not alone in this, that music is a pretty universal phenomenon, but I like to think that musical taste is like snowflakes or fingerprints: there are no two out there that are identical. I’m just lucky enough to have found one so similar to mine.