Tag Archives: contradictions

Reflecting

I’ve been back in the UK for the last 3 weeks (not for good, I’m heading back to Greece for the summer in a few hours), and I’ve developed an annoying habit. Whenever anyone asks me how the last year has been, my immediate answer is “interesting”. It’s like I can’t think of any other way to sum it up. And it’s not untrue: it HAS been interesting, getting to know the country as an adult, seeing quite how different things operate over there, etc etc. But if I’m being honest, when I tell people it’s been “interesting”, what I actually mean is that it’s been depressing and fascinating and awesome and infuriating; I’ve had fun, learnt to be independent, developed some self-confidence, but also been horrendously down, become less flexible; I’ve seen and experienced some amazing things, been to gigs and talks by myself, rediscovered my creativity in ways I wouldn’t have imagined with the kids, but also had to deal with less pleasant aspects of life and had to face the reality of being a young woman pretty much alone in a huge city. I’ve been happy, sad, excited, lonely, jealous of my friends back in England, angry at myself and others. It’s been a rollercoaster, thrilling yet stomach-churning; and a relief to reach the end in one piece. I don’t regret taking the year, but I DO regret not taking advantage of it fully. Not much I can do about it now though. I’ll just do my best to learn my lesson 🙂

Pause

Every so often, my brain has a habit of stopping dead in its tracks and marvelling at the world, at how far humans have come, everything we’ve achieved up until now. It’s a pretty incredible thought (even if I do feel rather like a 5-year-old in the way that it affects me so profoundly). I can’t help it, there are just so many awe-inspiring things in the world, that humans have helped create.

And then again, there are times that I blink and get such a clear view of the big picture, of the state the world’s in, that I can’t help but get down. We have something so precious, and we’re letting it fall to pieces. I just wish people would wake up and DO something. We’re pretty close to boiling point and the situation’s starting to get critical.*

The sad thing is, I don’t think human nature can change that much; at least, not enough to do what needs to be done.

 

*I want to clarify something: I am not an eco-warrior. I do believe that everyone should try to be greener, recycle, use less energy etc, but there is so much more that the world needs in order to keep going and to keep prospering; not just physically, by cutting down on waste or whatever, but also socially, culturally, economically, politically. It’s like we’re sinking into quicksand – we need to distribute the weight evenly in order to pull ourselves out of it.